Pilgrim Blogs Progress

A year or so in the life of Scog Blog part 2 - surgery

2009-07-26T11:33:00.002+01:00

My first of three operations was abdominal surgery of the type intended to prevent the patter of any more tiny feet!

It was meant to be a routine operation, keyhole style, with an overnight stay and back home to recuperate. Things didn't quite turn out that way.

During the operation the surgeon sliced through an artery resulting in them having to enlarge the incision to be able to clamp the vessel. I lost about 5 pints of blood whilst they tried to repair the damage and I was attended by 9 surgeons/doctors/aneathetists as they fought to save my life.

Afterwards I was in hospital for almost a week before being sent home. I was at home for one night before it became obvious that my wound had become infected - the infection started deep and bubbled up to the surface. Shane took be back to A&E and I was admitted to a different ward.

The doctor on the new ward prescribed an antibiotic but the pharmacist disagreed with the prescription and so I was left on the ward with no treatment - not even dressing changes for 2 days!

By this time I was getting quite desperate and finally a consultant from the original ward came down and got me moved up to her ward where I finally recieved treatment. I was in hospital for a further two weeks before being released. I was treated at home for a further two weeks before my wound finally healed.

Surgery number 2 was investigative knee surgery to identify what is causing me so much pain. The MRI had been inconclusive. The surgery showed that the damage to my anterior cruciate ligament had worsened and was now in need of surgical repair.

I first damaged my acl about 10 days before my wedding and consequently got married on crutches!

My third surgery was the acl reconstruction which went very well. I am still recieving physio and trying to strengthen the other muscles and ligaments as well. During the surgery they take about 8 inches of my hamstring and use it to create a new acl. I still have numb bits where the nerve endings have been damaged.

My knee is still painful but the consultant says that it is arthritis and theres nothing he can do about it - oh deep, deep joy!!!

I am beginning to accept that my knee will never be very good, will always give me some degree of pain and I need to just get used to the idea!

So that surgery - I may post a few photos of scars and things but I don't want to put anyone off there tea!!

A year or so in the life of Scog Blog part 1

2009-02-24T11:22:00.002+01:00

While on my friends blog I noticed that it was a whole year since I last blogged!!

I'm not really sure how that happened. I will try to fill you in on what has happened in the last year or so.

first in brief:

I got a new job in December 2007 and left NTU.
I had an operation in February 2008 - abdominal surgery - caught an infection had three weeks in hospital and lost my new job.
Became vice chair of governors at Peters school.
Had a holiday.
Didn't find a new job...
Became assistant treasurer to the tertiary order of the Holy Paraclete.
Had another birthday in October.
Had investigative knee surgery in November.
Went to see Meatloaf at the Trent FM Arena
Had Christmas and New Year.
Had a crutiate ligament repair (more knee surgery)in January.
Still on crutches - six month post operative recovery period.

So thats it in brief - I will try to fill in more details in further posts.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

2008-02-06T11:44:00.000+01:00

It seems to me that the Christmas lights go up earlier every year and they stay up longer after the event too. I don’t mind though I like the way they twinkle and sparkle in the deep, dark depths of winter. They give out a comforting glow amid the long dark nights and they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
They are, however, weak and pale in comparison to the light that blazed on the hillside when the shepherds were surprised by the angels. And even the brightest of our Christmas decorations are lost in the brightness of the star that guided the magi to Bethlehem.
Many of the Christmas lights that shine in the darkness of our city streets are put up by people who don’t know Jesus and if they have heard of him they consider him irrelevant in these modern times and yet ………..

God is able to use these lights to point the way to Jesus.

The lights shine in the dark and remind us of Jesus – The Light of the World.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

Today is Epiphany and we remember the visit of the magi to the new family of Mary, Joseph and the infant Jesus. They came from distant lands and distant cultures. They were guided on their journey by light. A bright new star had appeared in the night sky and it shone out guiding and leading them onwards.

God is able to use starlight to point the way to Jesus – The Light of the World.

As well as being Epiphany today is also the 6th January. 19 years ago today at about half past one in the morning my big sister, Hazel, lost her battle against cancer and died whilst listening to passages from Isaiah.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

Hazel had been battling the disease for about two years. During this time she had massive surgery to remove the tumours and she gave birth and life to her second son. After his birth she had the chemotherapy that might have saved her had she agreed to receive it immediately after surgery but whilst she was still pregnant.

Despite the obvious high of a brand new life, Hazels illness was a dark time in the life of our family. She didn’t want to die and leave her young boys and we didn’t want to lose her. We prayed and we hoped. We celebrated her tiny improvements and we endured her many setbacks.
But it wasn’t all bleak. It wasn’t all dark. Hazels faith shone out like a beacon. She never once doubted that there was a higher purpose even though it was a mystery to all of us, she never asked ‘Why me?’ and if other folk voiced the question on her behalf she would respond with “why not?”.
In the moments before her death she asked for the Bible to be read to her and her final words were ‘I’m going home’.
It seems fitting to me that this woman of great faith gave up her fight and her life at Epiphany.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

In the days, weeks and months following her death mum and I drew great strength from a song by Glenda Vaccaro. The song talks about how life is like a small boat tossed about on a great sea and Jesus is our lighthouse guiding us, watching over us, keeping us safe. This song though a bit cheesy sustained us, it kept us sane and it kept us focussed on Jesus even through the blackest days.

God is able to use the light of faith in a dying woman and the words of a corny song to point us to Jesus – The Light of the World.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

Living in the middle of Nottingham can be a dismal experience. With shootings and stabbings and a general feeling of uneasiness it can feel dark and bleak. For most of us who live in Radford the darker elements of crime and anti-social behaviour form a backdrop to our lives but occasionally it encroaches on our existence in an unwelcome and frightening way. When this happens it is easy to see the area where we live in mostly negative terms.
Sometime ago when returning to Nottingham from a trip up North in driving rain and semi darkness I was struck by an amazing sight. There before me were the Radford flats bathed in a pool of light flooding through a gap in the dark clouds and framed by a dazzling rainbow. The sight was so beautiful that I was transfixed. I was reminded that God is at work in even the darkest places and when seen in his light even the mundane can be transformed into something beautiful.

God is able to use the sunlight to point to his Son Jesus – The Light of the World.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

Our first reading from Isaiah provides us with a picture of hope beyond darkness. The original hearers of Isaiah’s words are called to act in response to the light that will come even though it is preceded by darkness. They are asked to take the long view towards the time when the age of the Messiah dawns on the land and a reversal of circumstances is introduced. When the Messiah comes darkness will be turned to light and instead of the Israelites being taken off in exile to foreign lands, people from those lands will come to Zion.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

We are living on the other side of this event. In the reading from Matthew the prophetic words of Isaiah have become a reality. The Messiah has been born into the world and visitors came from foreign lands to worship Him. The age of the Messiah is begun and His Light shines in the darkness.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

We are called to act in response to the Light that has been revealed to us in the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus – The Light of the World.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

We are a people called to be light in places of darkness. Pointing the way to Jesus – The Light of the World.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

God calls us to reflect His light in our relationships, in our communities, in our places of work and our schools. We are called to be light when we go down the pub, or when we do our shopping. We are called to be light in every aspect of our lives because we are people living in the Light of Jesus – The Light of the World.
"Arise, shine, for your light has come”.

It seems a bit of a tall order doesn’t it? Certainly my light seems a bit dim and pointless on many occasions especially if I’m feeling grumpy. Shane and the kids could I’m sure provide you with a long list of times and occasions when I have failed to be light or reflect God’s light into the situation at hand. But just because we’re not always very good at it doesn’t mean that we will be let off from trying.

God is able to take our best efforts and our weakest efforts and use us to point to Jesus – The light of the World.

Just think about that for a minute. Our God who is able to command light into existence, who is able to use stars and angels to announce the birth of His Son uses us with our weaknesses and our inconsistencies to point others to Jesus – The Light of the World.
And what do we need to do to share in this amazing privilege?
We just need to listen to the guiding and nudging of the Spirit, be willing to be used in any situation we find ourselves in and just do the best we can leaving the rest up to God.
Each of us has a story to share. Stories about Gods light shining in and through the dark times. Stories about how God has changed and transformed our lives until the ordinary becomes extraordinary. Stories about answered prayers and prayers that still await longed for answers. In recent months we have looked at what it means to offer true hospitality and we took part in the Big Conversation, telling our stories to each other and to those who not yet know Jesus can help to build community and point the way to Jesus.
Our individual stories are woven together by our Creator God until we become more than the sum of our parts, more than a collection of individuals getting together for a short time once a week.
We can become a living, breathing community, a lighthouse in a dark place shining the Christ light for all to see. We can become a place and a people who offer the hope that the darkness will not last forever because the light of Jesus shines in and through us.

God can and does use us, flawed and unfinished though we may be, to point the way to Jesus – The Light of The World.

"Arise, shine, for your light has come”. Amen.

New Job - New Challenges

2008-01-09T14:53:00.000+01:00

I have left my job in the university library and joined the team at IVP or Inter-Varsity Press. This is a good move!

I am thinking that now I work at a publisher maybe it's time to dust off those book ideas and have a go!

Medieval Practices - A warning.

2007-11-02T14:51:00.000+01:00

If you are a parent and have ever had any experience of mental illness be afraid - be very afraid.

I was watching 'This Morning' earlier and they were interviewing a young woman (22) who had had a bout of mental illness including self harming after she was assaulted as a mid teen.

She is now expecting her first child and social services are standing by to take away her new born at the time of birth because a doctor who has never met her has decided she is a risk to her child because of her mental health history.

Once the baby arrives she will no longer be able to fight publicly against the decision as she will be subject to a gagging order.

This woman has never done anything wrong. She has no record of harming children yet dhe will not be given the chance to prove her parental ability because one doctor who does not know her has condemned her.

Let me repeat that: A doctor who has never examined this young woman has judged her to be a risk and so despite the evidence of doctors who have treated her to the contrary she will never be allowed to keep her child.

Is this justice or an abuse of power?

John Hemming MP (www.johnhemming.blogspot.com) is leading a campaign to make the family court more transparent and to stop it using its power to gag people. I would urge you to pledge him your support.

Harry Potter Ego Quiz take 2

2007-08-31T10:26:00.001+01:00

You scored as Albus Dumbledore, Strong and powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them. However sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

Severus Snape

85%

Albus Dumbledore

85%

Harry Potter

80%

Remus Lupin

70%

Ginny Weasley

70%

Ron Weasley

65%

Sirius Black

55%

Hermione Granger

55%

Lord Voldemort

55%

Draco Malfoy

45%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

Princess Diana

2007-08-31T09:36:00.000+01:00

Today is the 10th anniversary of the day when two liitle boys lost their mother. Diana died in a Paris tunnel in a car crash.

I remember how I heard the news and I remember that I cried. The tears were not so much for Diana, somehow her life had gone from a fairytale to something more bleak and turgid and now it was over. No, the tears were for those young boys who had always been so close to mum and now would have to grow up without her.

This loss echoed the loss some years earlier of my sister and brought back the memories of another two little boys who would now grow up without their mum. So I wept that morning for four little boys who lost their mothers and all that goes with that.

So here we are 10 years later and still the muck wears on. Those two little boys now grown into fine men wanted to invite their step mum, whom they love, to stand with them and their dad to support them whilre they remembered the one whom they had lost.

The press and some self proclaimed friends of Diana, however, had different ideas and brought up all the angst of the break up of the royal marriage. I would like to think that had Diana survived that crash she would have moved on by now and put the past behind her. It may be a bit of a reach to think that she and Camilla could be friends but I think she had a big enough heart to forgive and get on with her life.

I have never been a big fan of the royals but I have a soft spot fot the younger generation and since it is William and Harry that lost the most it is appropriate that we take our cue from them. They have accepted and love Camilla and wanted her to support them at an important moment.

Now because of the fuss some people have made those boys will remember the mother they lost without the support of the mother they have gained.

The Lords Prayer and the Friend at Midnight.

2007-08-29T11:31:00.000+01:00

A sermon for Sunday 26th August. Luke 11: 1-10

If I were to ask you all individually what your experience of prayer has been like throughout your lifetime I am sure that I would get a number of very different responses. I would expect that we all have different experiences of prayer in our personal spiritual journeys. There may be mountain top experiences or times that prayer seems drier than the driest of deserts.
Some of us may be so in tune with God that we pray almost continually and are not even aware that we are doing so. For others finding even five minutes to spend with God in the midst of our busyness is a challenge and one which we often fail.
Prayer can be a blessing or a burden. It can raise us to the throne of heaven or bounce off the ceiling, leaving us wondering if it isn’t all just a waste of time. So how should we pray? Is there a right way, some formula that will always guarantee us success?
Lets go back to the words of Jesus as reported by Luke in this mornings Gospel reading.

Jesus has just been praying when his disciples come to him and ask that he teach them how to pray ‘just as John taught his disciples’. It was customary at that time for Rabbi’s to teach their followers a simple prayer to use in their own daily devotions. John had done so and now the disciples ask the same thing of Jesus.
Jesus replies with the familiar words of what we now call ‘The Lords Prayer’.
2 He said to them, "When you pray, say:
'Father,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come.
3Give us each day our daily bread.
4Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
And lead us not into temptation.' "
The prayer begins by addressing God as ‘Father’. This reflects the intimacy of the relationship between Jesus and God and hints at the intimacy that we too can have with God through the death and resurrection of Jesus. This is not a remote God that we are talking to - this is a loving Father – our loving Father.
The next line is ‘hallowed be your name’. This can cause some confusion especially if the word is misheard as ‘Harold’, why is God called Harold? The word ‘hallowed’ means sanctified, blessed, and consecrated. In Hebrew culture to speak of a person’s name was to talk about the whole character of that person. Similarly today we talk about someone who is striving to ‘clear their name’. God has revealed to us his Holy nature and for us to pray for His name to be hallowed – sanctified and blessed – is for us to recognise his nature, to know him as he is and so to love and to trust him. It also expresses the desire for the true nature of God to be known throughout the world.
This is a theme followed up by the words ‘Your Kingdom Come’. Jesus came to bring about Gods heavenly kingdom on earth and here he instructs us to continue to pray for its establishment.
The first part of the prayer then is taken up with honouring God, only when we give God his proper place will other things and needs fall into their proper place.

The prayer now moves on to discuss our own needs – daily bread – or enough of everything to satisfy each days needs. This has echoes of the Exodus when God provided manna in the desert – sufficient for each day. In today’s old testament reading we heard how if the manna was kept until the next day it would spoil, go mouldy and be unfit to eat. So we are not to worry about the unknown future but to live each day to the full and trust that God has it covered.
In the first part of the prayer we focussed on the purity and sacredness of God and now we bring our imperfectness, our fallenness to him and pray for the forgiveness of our sins. Yet we are at the same time reminded that we must also forgive others.
The prayer ends sooner than the version contained in Matthew with the plea to guard us against temptation. Temptation means more than just the seduction of sin - it means any testing situation – any trial – that we must face. Some of these testing times can be avoided but for those that we must pass through we can be sure of God guarding us, guiding us and bringing us through safely. Our God is not a remote God – he is our loving Father.

After teaching them the prayer Jesus goes on to tell them a parable.
5 Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.'
7"Then the one inside answers, 'Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' 8I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness he will get up and give him as much as he needs.
Hospitality in the Hebrew culture is a sacred duty. It is not enough to offer a visitor just enough – the guest must be confronted with an ample abundance. So your friend has just arrived late and the cupboard is bare - there is nothing to give him. What do you do? There is no 24hour Spar – the only option is to go and ask a friend. The friend is asleep. The house would probably have been a one room structure with a single window. There would have been a raised platform with a fire burning on it and the family and the family’s livestock would be huddled together on rush mats. To disturb one person would be to wake the whole household. Your friend tells you to go away. Jesus goes on to say that if the man won’t get up because he is a friend he will get up because of the mans bold persistence or shamelessness and supply everything that is needed.
At first glance it would appear that we should be persistent in prayer and if we don’t immediately get what it is we asked for we should batter away at God until we get what we want.
This, of course, is not true. The parable only makes sense when taken in the context of the prayer before it and when contrasted to the words that follow it. Jesus says:
9 "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 10For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Jesus is telling us that if an unwilling householder can in the end be coerced by a friends shameless persistence into giving him what he needs, how much more will God who is a loving Father supply all his children’s needs?
God – who wills to answer our petitions is contrasted with an earthly person who is indifferent to his friends’ pleas.
A request for physical bread is contrasted with the plea for the food of the kingdom.
If the plea for earthly benefit eventually produces a response how much more will God, our loving Father, respond to those requests for things that are in accordance to his will?

The Lords Prayer gives us a template to show us how to pray and together with the parable it gives us an insight into why we pray.
Prayer is about relationship. Through the death and resurrection of Jesus we are invited to have an intimate relationship with God.
Our God is not a remote God but a loving Father – our loving Father. When we love someone we spend time with them, we tell them about ourselves, our needs and desires, our hopes and our dreams. When we love someone we listen to them as they reveal their innermost selves to us. We grow together in a bond of love and trust.
This is what prayer is!
Of course there are many things that can get in the way of our relationships from silly misunderstandings to betrayal and mistrust. And there are many things that can get in the way of our relationship with God.
Our busyness can squeeze time with God to the margins of our day, feelings of guilt or worthlessness can make us reluctant to approach a perfect and holy God or we can feel that our lives are just to messy to bring before the purity of God. But God is not a remote God – He is a loving Father – our loving Father.
Those of you who have or have had close contact with young children will know that when a child has fallen down in the mud and is crying what they need is a hug and some reassurance. Generally we don’t wait until they are cleaned up and have got themselves together before we stoop down to them, scoop them up and comfort them.
If even we with all our imperfections can love one another – how much more will our loving Father love us. When we come into his presence dirty and distressed, feeling unworthy or hopeless Our God, Our loving Father will stoop down and scoop us up and give us comfort. Our God is not a remote God but a loving Father, our loving Father.
What’s more unlike our earthly relationships which sometimes go disastrously wrong, God, by his very nature, will not let us down. He will not betray us like our friends can. He will not abuse us as human parents sometimes do. He will not abandon us because of our many failings like some we may have trusted have done.
God is faithful and just and will forgive us over and over again. We need not be afraid to come into his perfect presence whatever state we are in we just need to come.
If you struggle to find time to spend with God for whatever reason start small and grab the opportunity for longer prayer times whenever they present themselves. If you only have a few minutes in the morning then perhaps memorise or write down a verse from the Bible or a phrase from the liturgy we say week by week on a Sunday. Take this verse with you throughout the day, let it swirl around and inhabit your mind. If you are suddenly presented with twenty, or ten or even five minutes during the course of the day then grab it and use it to talk with God. Don’t worry for a moment about the dishes in the sink or the mess in the living room or the mess in your life. Just lets stop, and rest, let God be God and let him hold us and heal us and comfort us. Our God is not a remote God. He is a loving Father. He is our loving Father.

Amen.

My Retreat part 3: The Spiritual Stuff.

2007-08-29T10:35:00.000+01:00

When I got to the retreat house I was a bit surprised to find that it was a silent retreat! I was a little concerned but actually it turned out to be really good. The only down-side being that there was little opportunity to talk to the other tertiary - still I think friends were made!

I went on retreat at a time of feeling very angry and not being entirely sure why. The kids were occasionally taking the brunt of it which is never right and left me feeling even worse. It was good to get away and have some space and thinking time.

During the retreat I sent a text message to a good friend Idle Pilgrim , it read 'God is loud when I is silent'. At the time of writing it was simply short hand for saying that I could really hear God when I was being quiet but as the weekend wore on it became clear that I had stumbled on the TRUTH!

As I spent time in the prescence of God I became aware of just how much I use the word 'I'. It is such a small word yet it has a great deal of power. I became increasingly aware that part of what was making me angry is the loss of my identity. As a mum I am 'mummy' and my needs, wants and desires are nearly always secondary to the needs, wants and desires of my children.

I seem to have two reactions to this fact: either I throw myself into it neglecting myself and putting them first every time - the martyr complex or I get cross and frustrated because even my most basic needs are not being met. Neither of these are healthy responses and I need to continue to work on changing them.

As a diabetic some of my needs MUST come first. If that means leaving the kids to cry and moan while I get something to eat then that has to be. When my blood sugar levels drop I get irrational and angry. If I keep my sugars balanced I am much more likely to keep my temper and emotions balanced.

Of course there are always going to be moments when the little ones stretch my patience to the limit but if I am on an even keel to begin with I am much more likely to manage even the difficult situations. There is still some head work to do on other bits of the anger problem but recognising this aspect has made me safe to be with my kids and made it possible to look at the deeper issues.

One other consequence of my retreat is that I recognise that I do have the right to have my basic needs met. I don't need to be a martyr and neglect myself. I need to look after me so hat I am healthy physically and mentally to look after those who depend on me.

'God is loud when I is silent'. It is highly appropriate at times that I stop worrying about my own needs, wants and desires and listen to the heart of God.

Harry Potter Alter-Ego Quiz

2007-07-17T12:29:00.001+01:00

Say no more.....

You scored as Severus Snape, Well you're a tricky one aren't you? Nobody quite has you figured out and you'd probably prefer it stayed that way. That said you are a formidable force by anyone's reckoning, but there is certainly more to you than a frosty exterior and a bitter temper.

Severus Snape

85%

Hermione Granger

75%

Albus Dumbledore

75%

Ron Weasley

75%

Remus Lupin

70%

Ginny Weasley

65%

Draco Malfoy

60%

Sirius Black

55%

Harry Potter

50%

Lord Voldemort

35%

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...?
created with QuizFarm.com

At Last!

2007-06-25T13:42:00.000+01:00

So part 1 and 2 of my retreat is now blogged. I will blog the Spiritual stuff later - honest!!

My Retreat part 2 Other stuff!

2007-06-25T13:15:00.000+01:00

This is the cross at the front of the chapel. It is really beautiful and the pictures don't do it justice. In the daytime the light flowing in leaches the colour from the illuminated cross and at night the camera struggles to take a photo of something light in the dark!!

This is the view from the front of the chapel looking back towards the doors.

This is the dining room complete with furniture from Richard Thompson (The Mouseman)

Sadly this is blurred - my attempt at being arty!

My Retreat Part 1 - The Practical Stuff.

2007-06-25T12:39:00.000+01:00

Sorry for the delay I have had problems with links and photos! Hopefully now this will work!

I went on Retreat to Whitby and stayed in the guest part of the priory or Sneaton Castle as it is called.

These are the photos of the Priory and Sneaton Castle.

This is my room. The door is all the way back to the wall - yes it really is that small!

These are the views from my room.

Update

2007-05-22T15:54:00.000+01:00

I have now got my photos on Picassa so will blog my retreat imminantly --- honest!

I am not Dead!

2007-05-15T13:23:00.000+01:00

I have been on retreat and am now catching up with the back log at work and whatnot.

More soon.

Rudeness

2007-05-02T16:23:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I was running a little late so I was thinking that perhaps I would catch a bus.

One pulled up at the bus stop ahead of me but I was too far away so didn't start running. While it was at the bus stop another bus pulled up behind it.

At this point I thought I could probably get to it so I ran. While on my way to the bus the doors opened and someone got off. I arrived as the doors closed. I knocked and the driver gestured ahead of him and I stupidly assumed he was indicating the bus stop so I carried on towards the stop.

At this point the driver drove off.

'You absolute illegitimate son' I said - or words to that effect. I walked to work.

Is it just me or is the general level of rudeness in the world increasing?

Mothering Sunday Exodus 2:1-10, John 19: 25-27 18th March 2007

2007-04-04T12:58:00.000+01:00

A mother places her three month old son into a reed basket and leaves him in the river. The baby’s big sister looks on until the baby is found.

A teenage girl arrives home to find the house all locked up and nobody home. She sits shivering and worrying on the doorstep for several hours before her mother returns.

A family gather around to celebrate a happy event. Mum and dad fuss proudly around their young offspring. Everybody is happy.

A father stands at the grave of his wife. His two young sons look bewildered at the mound of freshly dug dirt.

A mother stands at the foot of a cross, watching her son die a cruel and seemingly unjust death, listening to his final words, she weeps.

So here we are, another Mothering Sunday sermon, and I wonder what it is you were expecting? I wonder what it is my mum, sitting over there, is expecting – no pressure then!

If we were to take a quick poll I think we would find as many different experiences of mother as there are people here. Some will think of their own mother, others will think about themselves as mother.

As we can see by the snap shots described at the beginning, there are many and varied experiences of this thing named ‘Mother’.

Some experiences are painful, for some of us ‘Mother’ is not a word that holds much comfort. Perhaps we grew up without our mum, or she was so into her own needs that she failed to notice ours.

Some are good experiences, a mum that always seemed to be there when we needed her, a mum that smiled and laughed with us and taught us the value of love.

And what about our experiences of being ‘Mother’?

Some long to have children but choices and circumstances and nature have conspired to render it impossible.

Some have lost children, in infancy, in adulthood or before they were even born.

Some have children but the baggage they carry from their own childhood makes being a parent so hard, sometimes too hard. And often the cycle of abuse and neglect is continued on to a new generation.

Some take to parenting like ducks to water, rising to every new challenge and loving every part of it.

And then there are the men. At this time of year it is easy to overlook the feelings and needs of men. They too have good and bad experiences of ‘mother’ in a variety of contexts but the focus seems always to be on the women and the men folk barely get a look in.

So along with all of these differing experiences come a number of different expectations.

I have been known to avoid church on Mothering Sunday, especially before Peter and Ellie, came along. I didn’t want to hear about how mums are great and how we should celebrate them. My childhood left me with some issues to deal with and for a while I didn’t feel I had anything to celebrate when it came to the relationship with my mum. Today things are very different and I don’t know what I would do without her – I even find myself wishing sometimes that we lived a lot closer to each other!

The point remains though, that some would rather avoid church on this day altogether rather than sit through a service that only highlights the pain of their situation.

As I was preparing this I was very aware of two families. One of a young woman whose mother died last week and of another where the youngest child, a girl of three, died after a sudden illness. For these families Mothering Sunday this year will have a new and painful resonance as they contemplate their losses.

So with an awareness that one persons joyous occasion maybe another persons nightmare – where do we fit in? What is our place as a church and as individuals in the bigger picture?

Lets look again at the reading from Exodus.

At first glance this could be a reading about abandonment. The mum puts her little baby son into a basket in the river and runs away. We can only guess at the emotion this mother felt as she left her baby and ran away, perhaps praying that some how everything would turn out ok.
In the extract we don’t get any of the background to this action – just that it happened.

The background is that the king had demanded that every Hebrew male newborn should be killed. He was worried that the Hebrew numbers were growing way too fast and the Egyptians had all forgotten about Joseph and what he had done for them.

So this Hebrew mum had hidden her little boy for three months before she left him in the river. She just wanted her son to have the best chance of survival. So she left him where he would be found by elite Egyptian women in the hope that one of them would take care of him.
She left Miriam, the older sister, to keep watch and make sure he was safe and in the end everything did turn out ok. Her little boy grew up to be the one to lead the Hebrew people out of slavery. A happy ending.

Moses became part of a new family and grew up healthy, happy and loved. Modern families are made up in a variety of ways, some of that variety is reflected in our congregation, and we don’t need to venture very far into the community to find more examples.

We are all part of Gods family and as such we have an obligation to support one another, love one another and to be there for one another. In the good times, in the bad times, all of the time.

Come with me for a moment, back to that cross on a lonely hill outside the city walls. Listen – Jesus is speaking to his mother and his closest friend –

Dear woman, here is your son,"

"Here is your mother."

This verse is often discussed in the context of John taking on the care of Mary as she advances in years. As the oldest son this would have been an obligation borne by Jesus. Here he passes that obligation to John.

But – this relationship is not all one sided. Jesus does not just address John; he also speaks to his mum and gives his friend into her safe-keeping.

Jesus has created a new family unit and in doing so provides for the needs of all concerned.

Not all of us have good experiences of motherhood and mothering. So who is responsible for those who didn’t have mothers, or who had bad experiences?

Who is responsible for the lost, the un-mothered?

Who is responsible for the hurting and the vulnerable?

Who is going to care for those who grieve?

Jesus gives an example, in the midst of his own pain, he reaches out to provide his best friend with a mother

He reaches out and provides his mother with someone to care for her and someone for her to take care of.

Here is a reciprocal arrangement of mutual love and support, so that everyone has somebody to look out for and somebody looking out for them.

Who is responsible? We are.

Whose job is it? It is ours.

We are all responsible for each other. We are a family and like all families we are occasionally dysfunctional, but that shouldn’t discourage us from doing all we can for each other.

But it doesn’t stop there. It isn’t enough that we take care of each other within these walls we all so need to bring God’s love to the hurting world on our doorstep and in our local community.

Listen again to the words of Jesus – is there a message for us in our situation 2000 years later?

Dear woman, here is your son,"

"Here is your mother."

St Peters – here is Radford.

Radford – here are people who will care for you.

People of St Peters, here are those amongst you, sitting next to you, who need you. Look after each other care for each other, support one another, nurture one another, love one another.

In his name and for his sake Amen.

MonkeyKiss!

2007-04-04T11:51:00.000+01:00

From a friend....

2007-04-02T11:53:00.001+01:00

A woman brings a very limp duck into a veterinary surgery. As she lays the duck on the examination table the vet pulls out his stethoscope and listens to the duck's chest for signs of life.

After a few moments the vet shakes his head and turns to the womanand says sadly, "I'm sorry but the duck has passed away." The distressed owner wails, "Are you sure?""Yes of course I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replies."How can you be so sure?" she protests. "I mean you haven't done any testing - he might be in a coma or something."The vet rolls his eyes and leaves the room. He returns with a black Labrador.As the duck's owner looks in amazement, the dog stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examination table and sniffs the duck from top to bottom. He then looks at the vet and with sad eyes shakes his head.The vet pats the dog on the head and takes him out and returns a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumps up on the table and also sniffs the duck from its beak to its tail at the back end and back again.The cat sits and shakes its head and meows softly, jumps down from the examination table and strolls out of the examination room.
The vet looks at the woman and says, "I am sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."The vet turns to his computer terminal and after hitting a few keys a bill is printed off, which he hands to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, takes the bill. "£450!" she cries. "£450 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugs. "If you had accepted my word for it, the bill would have been only £30. But with the lab report and the cat scan - it all adds up."

Isaiah 55: 1-9, Luke 13: 1-9 11th March 2007

2007-03-30T13:44:00.000+01:00

Come everyone who is thirsty – here is water!
Come, you that have no money – buy corn and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk – it will cost you nothing!

The Lord says ‘Come’ – his invitation is clear. ‘Come everyone who is thirsty.
So who is invited? – everyone! The invite goes out to every man, woman and child. The invite is for you and it is for me. We don’t have to have wealth, health or status. We don’t need to be employed and we don’t need to prove anything about our income, or our situation. We can respond to the invite and come just as we are.
To those of us who have ever suffered any kind of exclusion an invite like this is music to the ears. We are not too fat or too thin, too well off or too poor, too educated or not educated enough. We don’t have to be the right sort of people from the right sort of background living in the right part of town. We can respond to the invite and come just as we are.

There is one qualification to the invite however – we have to be thirsty.
Are we thirsty? Are you thirsty? And what is it we are supposed to be thirsty for?
This is not about being thirsty for our next hot cuppa or even for water – even though the invite is to come and drink water, wine and milk.
If we are completely satisfied with this world and our place in it then we are not thirsty. If we do not long to see change in our lives and in the lives of others then we are not thirsty. If we do not ever feel upset or angry or frustrated about injustice in the world then we do not thirst. If we see no need for the Grace of God in our lives then we are not thirsty.
But if we accept our need for Jesus and recognise that he died on the cross to save us – you and me – then we are thirsty and we can respond to the invite and come just as we are to the banquet that God has prepared for us.

And what a banquet! Not only are we offered life-giving water but wine and milk too! Jesus goes beyond our expectations. He provides us with more than we will ever need. Here is not just water to revive us but wine and milk to sustain us. This is a spiritual drink and Jesus is the fountain, the well-spring, when we drink deeply from him and his provision we are refreshed, revived, renewed. We are able to keep plodding on through all this world has to throw at us with Jesus at our side. So are we ready to respond to the invite and come just as we are.

We are invited to ‘Come and buy’ and we are promised that it will cost us nothing. This is true and yet what is offered is not free and it does not come cheaply.
The gifts offered to us are without price because they are priceless, they are beyond any value that could be placed on them. The gift is Jesus himself, he died that we may live and lives to keep us in the safe hands of God. The gift of life that we have received is not something we could buy, it has already been bought for us by the blood that Jesus shed on a lonely cross more than 2000 years ago. Jesus paid the price, and it did not come cheaply, so that we could come, even though we have nothing, so that we can respond to the invite and come just as we are.

God promises to make a covenant with us, a covenant that will last forever. This covenant, and all the blessings and grace associated with it, is sealed by the blood that Jesus shed for us. This love is life transforming and so we turn to God, we attempt to live lives that are pleasing to him, we try to leave sin and wrongdoing behind. We have varying degrees of success but we are human and even with Gods grace we fail time and time again.
In the reading from Luke Jesus tells the parable of ‘The Unfruitful Fig Tree’. The owner wants to cut down the tree because it has failed to produce any fruit, but the gardener asks for more time and another chance to see if some special care will produce positive results. Like that tree we struggle to produce good fruit. We often set out with good intentions but somewhere along the way we make mistakes. A careless word here, a promise broken there, it’s easily done and we end up letting people down or hurting someone and we didn’t really mean for it to happen. If we were that tree we would deserve no more than to be cut down but our God is a God of second chances, of third chances, of 937 chances, of endless chances. God longs for us to return to him each time we go our own way or mess up, he longs for us to put our trust in him and accept the Grace that he offers time and time again. His love and grace are endless so that we can respond to the invite and come just as we are.

When we respond, when we come to God just as we are, with no pretence or falseness, he is faithful to the promises he has made. God will walk the road with us, guiding us, comforting us, challenging us, upholding us and leading us ever onwards. God does not promise that the way will be easy and there will be times that he seems very far away. There will be times of great struggle when the problems of the world we live in and the difficulties of our own situation threaten to overwhelm us. It is when the storms of life rage all around us that we need to hold on ever more tightly to his promise to be with us always. Although we are accepted into the Kingdom of God we are still a part of this world and we must continue to live in it. God promises that in his Kingdom there will be an end to pain and suffering but in this world we see pain and suffering everywhere we look. We stand with one foot in the earthly kingdom of the here and now and one foot in the Kingdom of God. This is not an easy place to be but the good things of this earth are just a taster of the things to come and God will remain faithful to us and all that he has promised.

Come everyone who is thirsty – here is water!
Come, you that have no money – buy corn and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk – it will cost you nothing!

Are we ready to respond to the invite and come just as we are?

Amen.

Standing in The Gap

2007-03-30T10:32:00.000+01:00

I heard a voice say 'Who will stand in the gap' and I replied 'Here I am Lord, send me'

Over the last few weeks I have been pondering on a number of questions relating to my calling to Ordination. At the moment I am very tired and have found it difficult to articulate the jumble of thoughts and feelings spinning around my heart and mind.

At my discernment meeting with Mark and Jan, I was asked 'What does it mean for you to be a priest'. I couldn't answer, I was overwhelmed with emotion and couldn't articulate any part of it. Last night I had my assessment meeting with the Diocesan Director of Ordinands. Yesterday I was worried that I wouldn't have the words to answer his questions and that he would leave without hearing my story.

And then I read this post: Acknowledging grief in times of change. And suddenly all the pieces fell in to place. I remembered by dream/vision of being a bridge across a chasm, I remembered the verse in Ezekial about God searching for someone to stand in the gap and finding no-one.
The phrase standing in the gap reminded me of all the stuff I had previousely written about that very subject.

And then I knew and I had words - this is what it means for me to be a priest, it is standing in the gap. The gap will change depending on people, circumstances and situations but at its core it will always be about standing in the gap beween God and People. Holding God in one hand and the people in the other, standing in the gap, being a bridge, a conduit, a channel whatever it takes. At the moment it is about reaching the people on the margins, those folk who think they have rejected God but really they have only rejected their false image of God and have not yet found the real thing.

In the end I think it all went very well but I will not hear anything now until after Easter.

I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. Ezekial 22:30

Baby got Book

2007-03-29T13:45:00.000+01:00

This is insane!

Rage or Rejoice?

2007-03-23T10:52:00.000+01:00

On Tuesday 20th March I attended the funeral of three year old Abigail Erin.

Abigail was my husbands cousin and she was just three and a half years old.

But this is not the start of the tragedy. The tragedy began before she was born. Her mother noticed a lack of movement and was rushed to hospital. The perfectly healthy baby growing inside her had somehow suffered a reduction in oxygen. Abigail was delivered in a hurry and her life was saved.

Sadly she had suffered catastrophic brain damage resulting in severe cerebral palsey, blindness and other complications. For nine months Abigail battled the odds to eventually being allowed to go home. Abigail needed to be tube fed and suctioned and was unable to do anything at all for herself. There were questions about how much she could understand of her surroundings but those closest to her ocassionally felt that connections were made. Love was given unconditionally and at times something of that love seemed to penetrate through the damage and brokenness of Abigail's existance. Sometimes she seemed to offer a flicker of love and recognition in return.

Abigail grew but remained a baby. Milestones were not met and expectations were narrowed. Any voluntary movement was celebrated and deliberate smiles would sustain for days.

As my son grew and developed he left Abby behind. No running and jumping for her, no carefree laughter or impromptu hugs and giggles. As I watched him grow I was always aware of Abby, born just a few months apart but with very different outcomes.

And then just a few weeks ago Abigail caught chicken pox. No concern to healthy children, this disease ravaged Abigails body. She fought, her parents fought, the medical staff fought. Abigails lungs were defeated by a vicious infection that would not clear and caused irreparable damage to almost all her lung tissue. The fight was over.

Her closest family spent the day holding her and saying Good Bye. A little after midnight she was extubated and and the machines fell silent. A little while later Abigail fell asleep in her mothers arms and silently, peacefully, died without fuss.

Abigail was beautiful but broken from the beginning. Some feel it would have been better had she not survived the trauma of her birth. Perhaps that is true. But she brought a subtle undefinable something to those who knew her. I think I met her twice, once when she was very young and one other time

The first time we met, I held her and gazed into unseeing eyes. Unseeing but also in a way unguarded. It was like looking into an infinity tunnel, the view went on deep into her soul and there was nothing hidden yet her existance seemed to hold some kind of mystery to great to comprehend.

So what is the right response to the death of a three year old, to the death of this three year old. As I look at my own three year old I want to rage and in his words: 'It's not fair!' and it isn't. It isn't fair that she suffered brain damage, it isn't fair that she could not play with her older siblings, it is not fair that her parents didn't see her first steps or hear her first words. It isn't fair that a child with all the promise of new life was broken and damaged before she even took her first breath.

It isn't fair.

Rage is an appropriate response to the unfairness but it is impotent and will not, can not, change one part of what happened. Grief comes next but you cannot grieve forever for a child that lives, however broken that child is. Abby's parents knew this and went about providing her with love and family to the very best of their ability. We grieve now the child that was and is no more. We grieve her loss but I think that that grief will also contain as many questions about her brokenness as well as her death.

At the celebration of her life, Abby's grandfather spoke about trusting God even if He never explains why. He spoke about doctoring the photos of his little grand daughter to remove the feeding tube and the plasters that held it in place and the lie that those photos now told. I heard in his piece the costlyness of trusting God through all the pain and anger and confusion of a child born broken, robbed of life three years before her death.

The celebration of her life was extremely difficult. I wanted to cry for this child, for this family, for this great big unfair. Instead we sang songs about how death has no sting and it felt like a lie. Abigail's death hurts, it hurts big.

The other side of the coin though is an image I now carry of Abigail chasing butterflies, singing and laughing as she dances through tall grass. And the God who wept at her former brokenness now smiles and laughs with her.

So I rejoice that her suffering is ended. Her brokenness is healed and she is now fully who she was meant to be.

In one hand I hold the questions and the anger and the pain and in the other I hold faith and trust in God and a belief that death is not the end.

See you soon Abigail.

Abigail Erin: 16th September 2003 - 8th March 2007

For more information about abby please visit: http://abigailupdates.blogspot.com/

Honest Questions about Abby:

You say it best:

Jon Snow on Abby:

Ship of Fools: Features

2007-02-27T10:04:00.000+01:00

Ship of Fools: Features

This link takes you to review and reply to Richard Dawkins and his book 'The God Delusion'.

Enjoy!

Oh to be well again

2007-01-06T13:50:00.000+01:00

We've had a quiet Christmas and New Year largely because we have been unwell.

Shane's chest is bad and he is busy providing lighting for various local panto's.

I started off with acute tonsillitis before Christmas, moved onto a chest infection and a second lot of anti-biotics over Christmas and then moved on to something viral for the New Year. I hope to return to work on Monday but I am still very tired!

I have enjoyed reading friends blogs over Christmas especially Trees. Though it was a bit sad that she was here while we were away at Granny and Grandad's! Maybe next time Trees! i am only blogging today because she told me to 'get blogging' in her blogs comments. Her public blog can be found at www.fridgemagnetwisdom.blogspot.com - enjoy the madness!

Following on...

2006-11-15T11:32:00.000+01:00

...from my first sermon I now have a date to prepare and lead a service at the end of the year. This service will form part of my assignment on worship.

I'm still quite tired but plodding on. So far I am enjoying the Reader Training but one module is tedious and badly taught.

I am still alive and will attempt to post more regularly!

My First Sermon

2006-10-25T14:01:00.000+01:00

Well the day is almost upon us - the day I deliver my first sermon as a reader-in-training.

The reading is Hebrews 7:23-28.

Can you imagine what it was like to make animal sacrifices at the Temple day after day?

I don’t know about you but I find it really difficult. This kind of sacrifice is outside of our experience. We are separated from it by time, geography and culture. We can only try to grasp what it might have been like. The sight of animals being bound and ritually killed, the sounds they might have made. The smells of animals and people and death and burning.

Every day the High Priest would look on while a lamb was butchered and burnt. One in the morning, and one in the evening. One for his own sins and one for the nations sins. Every day. Day after day, year in and year out.

It was a bloody and messy business and it happened on every day of the year. On special occasions, such as the Day of Atonement, the people would bring their own sacrifices to offer for their own sins. Even more blood, even more mess. Year after year.

So day after day the High Priest made his sacrifices for himself and his people until the day he died. As we read in our extract from the letter to the Hebrews – there were many of these priests because death prevented them from continuing in Office. After his death another Levite would take over and continue to make these sacrifices year in, year out, month after month, week after week and day after day.

So what are you thinking?

I’m thinking ‘what did that achieve?’, ‘what difference did it make?’

The point of the system of animal sacrifices was to two-fold. Firstly it kept the sin of the nation and a persons own sin ever before them. The people were forever and constantly reminded that they were sinful, and that sin was a serious matter. Secondly, the sacrifices provided a limited forgiveness, it was a sign of the peoples sorrow, an apology, a recognition of their sin and an acknowledgement of God’s mercy since the animals sacrificed came from what God had given to them.

Since the sacrifice was repeated every day, year after year, we can assume that really it was a pretty inefficient method. The priests were not able to stop the people from sinning or fully absolve their guilt since they too were guilty. The priests were called to live a sinless life but they, like us, were weak and unable to keep themselves from sin but God was still able to use them and many were influential in the Old Testament story.

Under the old covenant priests had a useful but limited ministry with mixed results. They could not remove the peoples sin and sooner or later, no matter how good they were, they died.

Something – someone else was required. A new covenant, a new method, a new way of doing things, a new Priest.

The Jewish people had waited a long time for a new priest, even longer than we here at St Peters.

The new priest was not of the tribe of Levi, Though fully human He did not sin and even though He died – He lives still.

The New Priest is Jesus.

Jesus became the sacrifice – not only for the Jewish people but for the whole world. He is the sacrifice for your sin and for my sin.

Unlike the sacrifices of the days gone by Jesus has no need to offer Himself time and time again. He does not need to die every day.

Jesus is both the Priest and the sacrifice. He gives Himself, once, for all people, for all time. His giving of Himself, His sacrifice, is perfect because He is perfect.

Jesus became the Lamb without stain or blemish. The perfect offering. The perfect sacrifice. His death was bloody and messy and we can only imagine what it must have been like. The sight, the sounds, the smells of a violent death.

His sacrifice was perfect because He is perfect. Because He is perfect Jesus does not need to make a sacrifice first for himself and then for us and there is no need for repetition. Jesus does not need to die again and again, day after day. His sacrifice is made once for all, for the sins of the whole world. For your sin and for my sin. His sacrifice is extremely efficient and effective. Jesus death removes the stain of sin from humanity. His death frees us from sin, past, present and future.

In the risen and ever living Jesus we have everything we need in a High Priest. He is holy, pure, set apart from sinners and exalted above the Heavens.

Jesus lived a holy and pure life, dedicated to God, and though He lived and worked amongst sinful people, he remained blameless, free from sin.

Jesus lived a life on earth with all of its joys and all of its sorrows. He wept at the death of a friend, he lost his temper with the traders in the temple, he shared meals with friends. Yet through all that life threw at him he remained faithful to God, faithful to his purpose and ultimately faithful to us.

Verse 25 of our passage says that Jesus forever lives to intercede for us. It’s easy to miss what this is getting at. What it is the author is actually saying.

Put straightforwardly Jesus is always praying for us. Constantly and without end. He lives to pray for us. He lives to bring our needs to God. He lives to ask God to forgive us our wrong-doing. He died to save us from sin and now He lives to save us from sin. He is our sacrifice and our priest. And he is able to do all this because he knows what it means to live on this earth. He knows the trials and the frustrations, he knows the challenges and the struggles. He understands our successes and our deepest failings. He knows because he lived it too.

So, what are you thinking?

I’m thinking ‘what did that achieve?’, ‘what difference did it make?’

Jesus is our eternal priest and as such there is now no need for an endless string of earthly intercessors to make sacrifice first for their own sin and then for ours. Jesus death and resurrection marks a turning point in history. We go from BC to AD, from the Old Covenant to the New covenant from animal sacrifice to a sacrifice of thanks and praise.

Under the law of the Old Covenant none could be made perfect but now all who come to Christ are made perfect in Him. The old system of animal sacrifices brought a temporary relief from sin, an easing of the conscience, but Christ’s death brings freedom from sin for eternity.

The priests of the Old Covenant were weak and sinful and eventually died but Jesus lives forever. His priesthood never ends.

Although Jesus made His sacrifice a time and a half ago in a far off land, in a far off culture, it is not a miss it and its gone event. His offering of Himself was, and still is, made once for all, for all time. It is not stuck in a particular time, or a particular culture or a particular people. It is now, it is for you and for me, for Radford and Nottingham and for all who would come to sit at Jesus feet.

We still make our sacrifice week after week, year after year, ours is a sacrifice of praise. The Old Covenant animal sacrifices were costly, giving up precious animals was not cheap, and they always gave the best, without spot or blemish. For us too, our sacrifice of praise can be costly. We come to praise God when we want to and when we don’t. We come when there is nothing better to do and when we would rather be elsewhere. We come not because of who we are but because of who God is.

We come not to ease our conscience for the sins of the previous week. We come not because we hope to somehow earn a little forgiveness. We come not to earn brownie points with our church leaders or God.

We come because Jesus invites us to. We come to remember that we live in the grace of God bought for us by Christ’s perfect offering of Himself. We come in praise and thanksgiving for the hope we have in Jesus.

In the Eucharistic service Jesus invites us to come and sit with him as his disciples sat with him in that upper room so many years ago. We gather around and share a meal with Jesus, our friend and our redeemer, our sacrifice and our priest. Like millions of Christians before us we share in the bread and wine, living symbols of Christ’s selfless act of love.

We add another act of remembrance to the long line of similar acts stretching back to that upper room, where Jesus gathered with His friends and said ‘do this in remembrance of me’.

Amen

All is well

2006-10-02T09:59:00.000+01:00

Well apart from the headaches!

Saturday was my first Reader training day. The focus was worship. It went very well and I was surprised to find my usual anxiety at being in a group setting was not present.

At the end of the session I lead the act of worship. It was a service of the Word. I had to prepare it all and create the service booklet etc. I have never done any of these things before. It all went very well. I was very pleased with the outcome. And again my ever present friend anxiety failed to show up.

A few people commented that they enjoyed the worship. AW the Warden of readers was surprised that it was my first time and said I had the balance just right.

My conclusion from all of this is that I am finally following the right path, close on the heels of Jesus, so there is no room for Mr Anxiety just a few butterflies.

I just wish I wasn't so tired....

Real Live Preacher Blurbs

2006-09-29T10:33:00.000+01:00

Hurray!

The preacher has used my Blurb!!!

The link included is to my other blog Scogs Tale

www.scogs-tale.blogspot.com

I am very pleased!

My Acceptance Letter.

2006-08-01T12:58:00.000+01:00

This is what the Bishop's Selectors said

"We were impressed with your calling to ministry and to work with people 'on the margins'. Our selectors felt that you should explore your possible vocation to ordination ...."

They also said "It was a privilage for us to hear your story and commitment."

It is good to feel valued and validated.

Life continues at frenetic pace...

2006-07-31T09:23:00.000+01:00

I recieved my official letter confirming my acceptance to the third year of training. This will involve 10 Saturdays from September onwards. I have 5 essays outstanding for the Diploma if I still want to get it - I do! I think I will be busy!

My letter was lovely and totally affirming. They recognised a ministry to the people on the margins and they suggested I explore further the possibility of ordination to the priesthood of the Anglican Church. I feel very blessed and a little scared!

Life seems to have taken a turn for the better and for the first time in a long time I feel excited about the possibilities to come.

Hurrah!

2006-07-26T09:15:00.000+01:00

I recieved 'unofficial' news yesterday that I have been accepted to continue into the third year of lay reader training. I should recieve official confirmation soon.

This means that all being well I should be licenced as a lay reader next September.

Yippee.

On a similar note I was recieved as a postulant into the Tertiary's of The Order of the Holy Paraclete on Monday evening.

I am finally beginning to feel that my life is approaching the 'right' track.

A Poem

2006-07-19T09:23:00.001+01:00

SUNSET

Sunset
Red, orange, Gold.
Sunset
Proclaiming God
He exists, He lives.
Sunset
How Can you look at
Sunset
and tell me God is dead?
Sunset.

Sunrise
Red, orange, Gold.
Sunrise
Announcing the day.
Sunrise
He exists, He lives, He loves you.
Sunrise
Do you see?
Sunrise
God is alive in you and me and
Sunrise.

May 1991

The Long View

2006-07-18T13:33:00.000+01:00

Sometimes when your life feels mired down in the proverbial it is easy to lose sight of where it is you are meant to be going. Moving through my life at the moment really is like walking through mud. The ooze sucks at your feet making each step difficult and threatening to pull your boots off.

I feel like everything is on hold until I hear the decision from the diocese about the next stage of my life. If they say yes there will be challenges and opportunities and if they say no here too will be challenges and opportunities. Problem is as I don't know which way it will go I have to wait, treading water or stuck in the mud until I know what direction to move in.

Thank God that He sees the full picture. God takes the long view, He sees the end from the beginning and if we keep listening He'll lead us in the path we should go.

This is both reassuring and deeply scary at one and the same time.

Important Interview..

2006-06-19T09:18:00.000+01:00

.. On Saturday I had my lay reader interview. Having done two years of the course my future ministry depends on this interview. This will decide if I get to go on and do the third and final year at the end of which comes my licensing to preach in the Anglican church.

It was 20 -25 minutes with each of three people who asked probing questions in a gentle manner. Now I have to wait until the middle of July to see if I was successul. The recommendations have to go before the Bishop and he makes the final decision.

All I can do is my best and then trust in God's will whatever the outcome.

I want to write...

2006-06-13T16:15:00.000+01:00

I want to write.....

about my journey,

about my thoughts and my take on things,

to challenge and inspire,

to create something beautiful,

about how things are between me and God right now

BUT

I have a 2000 word essay on St. Benedict due in tomorrow evening and I have to prepare for interview on Saturday.

On Saturday I will endure 3 25 minute interviews covering every aspect of my life and spirituality. My immediate future hinges on my performance in these interviews. They will then decide if I am a suitable candidate to enter the third year of training - at the end of which I will be licenced to preach in the Church of England.

I want to write.....

......but at the moment life is getting in the way!

First Time

2006-06-06T16:02:00.000+01:00

My ordinary time book has arrived.

I am so pleased to see my name in print and something I have written actually in print in a real book!! I have called myself a writer for sometime but this is my first published work.

Thank you RevGalBlogPals for the opportunity to do this - when can we do it again?!

Now all I have to do is figure out how to get the book picture and link on to my blog.....

Health Update

2006-06-06T15:57:00.000+01:00

Shane had his ecg's and his heart is healthy. They have upped his Asthma meds and this seems to be working.

I continue to suffer with the side effects of my diabetes meds. I would say more but you don't want to go there!

Peter has had to be fitted for a new type of splint since the current one continues to cause soreness. Hopefully the new one will improve his foot position and not cause his foot to be sore and uncomfortable.

Eleanor is teething - do I need to say more?!

Health ....or not!

2006-04-21T09:07:00.000+01:00

My husband Shane had the first of two ECG's yesterday. This was the sort done by a nurse who doesn't actually look at the print out but sticks it in a file and says the doctor will get back to you. His next ECG is one of those full blown exercise and at rest ones where they have you doing all sorts of stuff presumably to see if they can induce some sort of attack.

This all stems from the pleurasy he had at Christmas. He has been left with chest pain and shortness of breath. He has been given an inhaler for asthma and a GTN spray for angina, none of these conditions have as yet been confirmed.

My health remains rubbish. I was put on to different types of medication for the diabetes. My readings remain too high and the side effects of the drugs has resulted in almost constant diarrhoea. I am still extremely tired and increasingly frustrated.

On the up side the children have now recovered from their bout of illness and seem to be doing well. Peter is due to get a new splint for his left foot next week as the present one is now too small. He sems to grow at an alarming rate but is still in clothes for 18month-2yr old even though he will be three in June.

Eleanor gets cuter by the day. She is a real ray of sunshine with a smile that just blows me away. However bad things get I am a truly lucky woman to have such wonderful children. They keeps things bright and cheery despite all the negatives of life at hte moment.

Health .... or lack of it.

2006-03-27T01:59:00.000+01:00

I might have known......

Both my kids caught the diarrhoea and vomiting bug that was going around and so inevitably so did I. I had only been back at work for a week so I was a bit fed up.

In addition to this I was rung by the doctor to say that my urine sample showed a significant kidney funtion impairment and could I pop in for more tests. I await the results.

I wish I had something profound to say but I don't!

This Week

2006-02-13T14:33:00.000+01:00

Tomorrow my husband and I are attending a signs workshop at the speech therapy clinic. This was arranged as a result of Peter's assessment some months ago. In the intervening period Peter's language expression has come on remarkably. He is using full sentences and though these are sometimes garbled we are able to understand much of what he is saying.

On Wednesday I have an appointment with the diabetes nurse specialist - I am hoping that they will put me on medication so I can finally begin to feel human instead of battling with a never ending state of near exhaustion.

On Thursday the Portage team come to the house to assess Peter's needs for attending school. This process needs to begin now even though he is only 2 and a half.

On Friday we are having a couple of friends round for tea. One of whom is entering a convent on Saturday.

On top of this we have builders in fixing/replacing windows, rooves and a few other bits and bobs!

What a week!!

Comments...

2006-02-12T20:35:00.000+01:00

A friend emailed me and pointed out that people couldn't leave comments ... oops!!!

I have fixed this this now so feel free to comment away!!!

Two Nations Divided By a Common Language......

2006-02-08T15:34:00.000+01:00

....... or not!!

Whilst watching Judge Judy recently I was aghast and agape.

Was this English she was speaking? I think not! The word she used was 'burglarize' - what the heck is that!!

So here we are all you Americans - Listen up!

English Lesson No 1 - Don't mash the mother tongue.

A burglar burgled me. Will he burgle you?

NOT

A burglarizer burglarized me. Will he burglarize you?

The word does not need all the extra bits - what's next murderize?

End of Lesson.

Muppet

2006-02-08T12:48:00.000+01:00

You Are Dr. Bunsen Honeydew

You take the title "mad scientist" to the extreme -with very scary things coming out of your lab.And you've invented some pretty cool things, from a banana sharpener to a robot politician.But while you're busy turning gold into cottage cheese, you need to watch out for poor little Beaker!"Oh, that's very naughty, Beaker! Now you eat these paper clips this minute."

The Muppet Personality Test

http://www.blogthings.com/themuppetpersonalitytest/

And so to this....

2006-02-07T16:38:00.000+01:00

Shane and I have been married for over 7 years and have two amazingly beautiful, wonderful children. In all our time together we have had few disagreements and no rows...... well until last night that is.

We went at it like professionals until we both felt like crap and nothing that was upsetting us was resolved. I don't know where it all came from but I didn't like it.

I guess a large part of the problem is that we are both so tired and only have so much energy to deal with issues and problems. By the time the kids are in bed we both seem to flop and curl up within ourselves to protect our inner selves from the crappiness of the outside world.

We managed to sort out a temporary truce that meant we could go to bed still believing in us. I guess at some point when we can be calm and rational we need to sort out a few things, have a chat, find each other amongst the business and the illness and the tiredness.

Shane if you ever read this - remember one thing - I love you with all of my being.

Theological world view

2006-02-07T10:41:00.000+01:00

You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

75%

Emergent/Postmodern

68%

Neo orthodox

64%

Modern Liberal

57%

Reformed Evangelical

46%

Roman Catholic

43%

Classical Liberal

39%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

36%

Fundamentalist

32%

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Birthday

2006-02-07T10:30:00.000+01:00

Your Birthdate: October 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame.You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them.Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing.You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship.
Your strength: Your charm
Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics
Your power color: Indigo
Your power symbol: Four leaf clover
Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/

Ummm, some of this rings true but not sure about all of it!! Purple is my favourite colour!

Feels Like Forever...

2006-02-06T14:14:00.000+01:00

It feels like forever since I last blogged.

I have been a busy bee. I finally finished my four pieces for the Ordinary Time book and I have found that I really enjoyed doing them. The last one was a bit of a slog as at least one of the four of us has been ill since before Christmas, but all in all it has been a good experience. Can I play next time too! I am thinking that from time to time I will post something similar here.

I have been ill. So has Shane and Peter and Eleanor. I am back at work after two weeks - first I had a chest infection and then I had tummy trouble - let's not go there! Shane had pluerisy over Christmas and went back to work only for the chest pain to return along with the shortness of breath and tiredness. Peter is still recovering from the glandular fever episode but is getting better - in addition he has had a few high temperatures and he is currently carrying a horrible cough that wakes him (and us!) at night. Eleanor has had a bout of diarrhoea that lasted for 12 days. She is now constipated and having trouble passing her stools. Life is hard when you are nine months old!

I am tired! My diabetes is not in control hence I am particularly tired at the moment. I am waiting on some blood test results and an appointment with the doc. I expect I will have to start on some medication very soon.

My lay reader course continues. I have done all the essays I need to. Coming up this year are interviews and stuff as part of the selection process for the third year. This will be when I start reader training proper.

I am hoping for a weekend retreat to Whitby at the end of the month. No hubby, no kids, I will miss them but I am definately ready for it!

I will try to write something meaningful later in the week!

Blog Book

2006-01-09T13:56:00.000+01:00

Having somehow managing to volunteer for four slots not two(?!) I was in a bit of a panic. I have never written a devotional before so was a bit daunted by the prospect.

The deadline is looming and up until today I hadn't even started them as i had an essay to write (due in this week). Anyway the essay went well and I finished it half a week earlier than expected. So now I can get on with the blog book commitment.

I started this morning with Ruth and wonders of wonders I finished it!! Subject to it being any good that is!

Okay on to the next three - all in Mark, now where did I put that commentary......

The Mayfly Project

2006-01-04T12:12:00.000+01:00

Blog hopping I came across a link to the Mayfly project. This basically is a site where you are invited to sum up your 2005 in 24 words or less. The lifespan of a mayfly is 24 hours.

Heres mine:

Pregnant.Baby Girl Born.
Stress, tired
Husband Gives Evidence in Murder Trial.
Maternity Leave Over.
another birthday.
Christmas is coming!
Husband has Pleurisy--Great!

Sick!!

2006-01-03T15:10:00.000+01:00

This is sort of a two-parter!

Part 1

My husband contracted pleurisy on Christmas Eve and on the evening of the 27th we spent several hours in the ED (whatever happened to calling it casualty?!). He couldn't breathe and was in a whole heap of pain. Anyway they put him on oxygen which relieved the immediate problem and gave him some strong pain killers and then they sent us home.

He is picking up a bit now and has reduced the pain killers considerably. He is off work until next week.

Part 2

RevGalBlogPals are running a meme:

1. When was the last time you were really sick?

Not including pregnancy it would have to be January last year. I had chest pains and difficulty breathing. I was hospitalised for 3 days and underwent lots of tests. The cause remains unfound.

2. What did it make you appreciate again when you were well?

Being able to breathe! Being able to lie down and sleep.

3. How sick do you have to be before you stay home from leading worship?

Very!

4. What is your standard sick food or drink?

Chocolate.

5. Who takes care of you when you're sick?

My husband.

Last Day at Work

2005-12-23T10:34:00.000+01:00

Well, today is the last day at work before Christmas and we haven't even bought our tree let alone decorated the b$%&£**"! thing.

We have almost done all our Christmas shopping - we need to buy a stocking for our youngest - as this is her first Christmas and I need a football for my son. I tried to buy him one a few months ago but ASDA (Wal-Mart) had cleared out such things to get the Christmas stuff in!!

We are going to friends for lunch so we have not needed to buy much Christmas food so that has eased the situation.

This has been such a difficult year that I really don't feel like it is Christmas and yet the big day is only 2 days away!!!

I think the thing I am looking forward to most this year is seeing Christmas through my little boys eyes. Peter is now 2 1/2 and has really beginning to notice Christmas for the first time. I hope to catch some of his excitement and joy on the big day so that it will turn out to be a Christmas to remember and for all of the right reasons!

Moon

2005-12-23T10:26:00.000+01:00

I greeted the moon as I walked to work this morning. There she was in her half state, majestic and beautiful as she smiled down from her lofty place.

My cynical side enquired from deep within 'what are you saying hello to the moon for - it is just a big, dead, rock!'

Ah yes, I replied but the light from the sun gives it life and light and beauty and makes my heart warm to see her glowing there.

What a picture of what the Christ light does for us! We are cold and dead but in the light from God's Son we shine and come alive hopefully then spreading the light to others, radiating his light and love to a cold and lonely world.

Thank you Lord, for your indescribable gift!

What Christmas Carol Are You?

2005-12-20T11:36:00.000+01:00

Fun Quiz

http://quizilla.com/users/17catherines/quizzes/What%20Christmas%20Carol%20are%20you?/

I am Hark the Herald Angels Sing!!

I posted this on A Place to Talk

2005-12-19T14:57:00.000+01:00

Advent

Here we are in another time of waiting. Waiting... waiting..... waiting.....What are we waiting for? What are we looking forward to?

2006 is fast approaching and this will see many changes in our lives and our church. The arrival of our new leadership, the loss of Juniour (loss to us for a while but a big adventure into new beginnings for her).

Before the New Year, there is Christmas. What is that all about? Tinsell and chocolate and turkey and chocolate and baubles and did I mention the chocolate?

or

Friends and family and excitement and presents and love and joy and JESUS. Let's not forget Him or lose Him in the leftovers and the pretty paper.

Jesus is also waiting, waiting to break through into our lives in a whole new way. Not as a baby left to moulder in an ancient manger, forgotton and abandoned like the carcass of last years turkey. But as the Son of God, the Prince of Peace, Saviour and King. And as friend, brother, consoler.

Make room and let Him transform our waiting with His unending love.

2005: A review.

2005-12-19T14:34:00.000+01:00

As the year begins to draw to a close I thought I would take a look at the highs and lows of the family Blog.

At the beginning of the year Daddy Blog was facing the possibility of redundancy in fact he ended up being promoted - a mixed blessing! His work is now very stressful and involves overtime which leaves me having to feed, bathe and put to bed a 2 1/2 year old and a seven month old without any help. It works if Peter is happy to watch TV while I put the baby to bed.

Last year Daddy bBlog was witness to a murder - this impacted on this year - worrying about making a statement and recriminations, awaiting the trial, giving evidence. At last, the murderer was sentenced to a minimum of 25 years and life began to return to normal.

I continued to feel ill with my second pregnancy and eventually celebrated the birth of Eleanor in May. She is a delight and a wonder.

I returned to work in October to find that internal politics and silliness was running on unabated. The new bod at the top has turned things upside down to the extent that no-one really knows what to expect next year.

My course continues to go well although I was ready to jack it all in a month or so ago. It all just seemed to be a bit too much. I have decided to only do the minimum two essays this academic year, so I should have filled that requirement by New Year. This should make the time until summer a little less stressful.

Peter continued to cope well with his hemiplegia and was making good progress. The glandular fever he was diagnosed with in November has slowed him down a bit but hopefully he will pick up a bit after the excitement of Christmas. He is still very tired and in some areas of his develpment he has taken a step backward.

Eleanor is thriving. She is a little podge and totally adorable. She sleeps through the night - something her older brother is yet to achieve.

My Film of the Year - not having seen many I think it waould have to be Wallace and Gromit - and the Were-Rabbit closely followed by Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

My Book of the Year - again I haven't really read much but my vote would be for Thud by Terry Pratchett.

Album of the Year - I haven't recieved it yet but I can safely say that it will be Deep Blue by Martyn Joseph!!

Carol Service and a big TV

2005-12-19T10:33:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we had our Carol Service. It was based around a number of meditations from 'key players'. We had Mary telling God that she thought He had it wrong, Joseph telling how he was going to get rid of her until the angel convinced him otherwise. We heard from the innkeeper and finally from John who talked about words - how he had written so many of them but at the end of the day there was only one that was really important and that was 'Jesus' the word made flesh.

It was a lovely service with the church lit only by candlelight and a few soft lights at the business end. We sang traditional carols and remembered the reason for Christmas.

Afterwards, when we had got the children to bed, we unboxed are present to ourselves. For years we have had a small (14in) portable television set. We had hoped to get a bigger, better one last year but they cost too much. This year they have come down in price so we bought one - a 28in widescreen Sony. We love it!!

This morning Peter was quite surprised when he came downstairs and saw Noddy looking much bigger than previously! He seemed to like it - he will still be rationed though!

Smack a penguin!!

2005-12-19T10:28:00.000+01:00

This is fun!

http://n.ethz.ch/student/mkos/pinguin.swf

My best is a little over 300! Not very good but it is a lot of fun!

A Weekend Away

2005-12-13T11:43:00.000+01:00

The family Blog spent a weekend up North in Darlington with my mum, step dad and nephews. Complete with visits from two of three brothers and a visit to an aunt spending her 15th week in hospital. It was a very hectic but fun time!

Mum was in good spirits and Peter was very taken with her, so much so that he hasn't stopped asking for her since we returned home!! Eleanor cried her lungs out at first but soon warmed to the idea of cuddles and smiles from yet another besotted relative!

We managed to get all the pressies wrapped for the Darlington arm of the family - some were wrapped in the bedroom while the recipiants were entertained in the living room!!

We made good time on the journey home with two tired and sleeping children and arrived home tired but happy!

Next trip is to London on Boxing day to spend a few days with Shanes parents.

Romans 5: 1-11

2005-12-07T12:10:00.000+01:00

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

My next assignment due in much too soon is entitled:

'Write a sermon based on Romans 5: 1-11 focusing on Paul's theology of salvation'.

Argh!!

It seems to me that his theology of salvation is contained throughout Romans and not confined to these few and seemingly random verses. Oh Help!!

When I have worked out what his salvation theology is I guess I will have some clue as to how it is connected to the small fragment listed.

It doesn't help that the passage begins 'therefore'!!

Any suggestions gratefully received

Being Church

2005-12-07T10:03:00.000+01:00

Real Live Preacher wrote a piece on different ways of being church. It sounds idyllic and made me wish for a better way of doing things than we seem to manage in the Anglican Church.

It has been decided by our Diocese that our Parish and the one next door will not be getting new priests to fill our vacancies. We have been in vacancy for over 4 years -- waiting, hoping, despairing, whilst our numbers dwindle and our hope along with it.

A few years ago a document was written about what the inner city parishes need to survive and thrive. One of the conclusions was that parishes like ours need more priests, more resources, more input. Sadly, this has not been implemented and we are to get fewer priests, fewer resources, very little input.

It has been decided that we are to be an experiment in a new way of being church. We are being given a lay missioner to cover both inner city parishes. This person will be supported by two non stipendary priests - one for each parish. This person will be responsible for bringing the Gospel message to the tens of thousands of people who live within the boundaries of these two parishes. We will not be a united benefice just two churches with the same incumbant.

My cynical, hope drained self thinks this is second rate, an experiment doomed to failure, a job too big for any one person to take on, a let down, a disappointment.

My dare to hope, positive self hopes that this will be just what we need. I even get excited when I think of the possibilities and opportunities that will come with this appointment.

Someone has now been appointed. A married couple job sharing the post. They have children!! They are excited about joining us in February. They feel that this is where God is calling them and they can't wait to be with us.

When they come I will have someone to support and encourage me through my Lay Reader training. I will have someone to help discern what God is calling me to. We will have someone to love and to guide us. To help us find our direction and give us back our sense of purpose.

We will have someone to help us be church again in our inner city parish(es). We will have someone.

Praise God!

Christmas Quiz

2005-12-06T12:08:00.000+01:00

http://quizilla.com/users/T1000/quizzes/What%20Christmas%20Figure%20Are%20You?/

Apparently I am Mistletoe.

Christmas Gift

2005-12-06T10:48:00.000+01:00

If you are looking for a perfect Christmas gift please check out www.reallivepreacher.com and listen to his Christmas CD. The first chapter is available free!!! If you love it as much as I do you can purchase a copy or two!

The CD is a retelling of the Christmas story read by the author Gordon Atkinson aka the Real Live Preacher. It is a beautiful retelling - poignant and relevant in this age af cynicism and commercialism. It will fill your heart and probably make you cry!

The Cd is enhanced by the guitar music played by Ben Tavara King www.talkingtaco.com.

A+ Highly recommended.

Advent Book

2005-12-06T10:36:00.000+01:00

I know we are already a week in but if you are still looking for an advent devotional you won't do much better than

A Light Blazes in the Darkness: Advent Devotionals from an Intentional Online Community

It is a beautiful book written by a diverse group of women. Each day of advent begins with a bible passage followed by a reflection and ending with a prayer. It can be used on its own or as part of daily prayer.

It will make you think!!

You can get it from here: http://www.lulu.com/browse/book_view.php?fCID=174236

sick of PC

2005-11-16T17:10:00.000+01:00

I don't know about any one else but I am thoroughly fed up with political correctness. You can't turn around these days without another local council banning Christmas related lights and decorations because it might offend someon.

Well it offends me. I have never fealt offended by Eid or Diwali and have at time enjoyed some of the more visible aspects of these celebrations. Why then, as a Christian, am I told that we can't overtly celebrate Christmas because we might offend someone from another religion.

Why does cultural tolerance extend to everyone elses religion and not the notional religion of this country. Why must I be stripped of my religious expression to promote cultural acceptance while other religions are allowed to express their religions to the same end. Why is Christianity being eroded in this country while other religions are given complete freedom.

I don't want to restrict any one elses religion I just want to be free to celebrate Christmas and Easter and all those other important dates in the Christian calender in my own country.

End of!

An Essay from my course

2005-11-02T17:39:00.000+01:00

A man was walking through Radford when he fell among a gang of thieves, who stripped him of his goods and his clothing, beat him and departed, not caring if he were alive or dead. Now along that road came a priest who, being very busy with visiting and other duties, passed by on the other side of the street. Similarly a local MP also came along the road and, seeing the man gave him a wide berth and hurried on by to his rather important council meeting. But a young black man, dripping with gold and as cool as you like, came by and when he saw him he was overcome with compassion and rushed to his side. He bound his wounds pouring on water; he dressed him in his expensive jacket and called an ambulance. He travelled with him to the hospital, bought him some toiletries and nightwear and once he was settled and in safe hands he went on his way, leaving his mobile number with the staff. The next day he called at the hospital and spent several hours by his bedside talking to him and offering comfort. He brought magazines and fruit and asked the staff to call him if the man should awake and require anything.

I chose to base this assignment on the Good Samaritan because despite 2000 years of evolution I think the question of ‘Who is my neighbour?’ remains a relevant and thought provoking one. We live in an increasingly multi-cultural, multi-faith society. We rub up against all kinds of people in our daily work and personal lives. Are any of these people our neighbour? Are all of these people our neighbour? What is a neighbour anyway? These questions I believe are answered by Jesus in the telling of the ‘Good’ or ‘Compassionate Samaritan’. At the time of the original parable Jews and Samaritans did not mix, they lived separately, worshipped separately and did not intermarry. The Jews hated and despised the Samaritans and in our modern world there are a number of people groups who feel the same way about each other. Racism, fascism and several other ‘isms’ are rife in a society that sees terrorists and infiltrators on every corner. As society has grown to accommodate people of other races we have become more suspicious and more possessive of our territory and identity. Far from being a whole and integrated, unified society we are instead fragmented, huddled in our familiar groups hardly daring to step beyond what we consider to be the norm. What did the parable mean to Jesus’ hearers when first they heard it? Does it still have relevance today or do we need to re-interpret it for a new age?

According to Snodgrass (2000) there have been a number of different approaches to interpreting the meaning of the parables. The use of allegory was popular for a time but was at least partly replaced by methods that relied more on the actual text and the cultural and historical settings. Others have taken a literary approach and yet others an artistic one. Drane (1999, p123) points out the dangers of using only one method when he discusses Augustine’s allegorical retelling of ‘The Good Samaritan’. According to Drane, Augustine re-labels every element of the story, from Jerusalem to the two coins, to come up with ‘an ingenious account’ of his understanding of salvation which bears little connection to the original story. In the assessment of Keesmaat (2000) there is also a danger in adopting only a contextual approach to understanding the parables. In focussing too closely on what the message for Jesus’ listeners was we can miss what the story has to say to us today. Drane (1999, p138) agrees stating that ‘the real meaning of the parables must always be bound up with the challenge they bring to those who read or hear them’. He goes on to say that the parables ‘are an invitation into new territory, an opportunity to re-imagine the world as we know and experience it, in the light of Jesus’ portrayal of God’s character’.
Julicher (1899) suggests that the parables are simply tools used by Jesus to illustrate a point. In the parable of the Good Samaritan the point is that the person who proved to be a real neighbour was not a religious Jew, but a member of a despised social group. The rest is just scene setting. Keesmaat (2000, p263) contends that only using the given context is a ‘safe’ way to read the parables since it ‘ensures that engagement between a text and its context do not become uncomfortably close to our own world’. It would seem then that the parables benefit from a multi-layered approach to interpretation.
Keesmaat (2000 p265) maintains that the parables of Jesus function to challenge the prevailing worldview so that understanding what a parable meant to Jesus’ hearers helps us to understand what it might mean for us today. With that in mind she places the parable firmly in the context of the questions asked by the lawyer and points out that Jesus turns the questions and his listeners expectations upside down, thus getting to the heart of the issue and making an impact (p276). Jesus takes the question of ‘who is my neighbour?’, and leaves his hearers and the questioner in no doubt that it is not simply about being a neighbour to the despised but that the lawyer should ‘allow an enemy to become a neighbour to him … [and] that he is to follow the example of his enemy in learning what it is to be a neighbour’(p282).
As this parable is in answer to a question put to Jesus I believe it to be one of the more straightforward ones and agree with the views expressed above. I am reminded of the wood stain advert whose catchphrase is ‘It does exactly what it says on the tin’. This parable is another insight into the Kingdom of God. It states very clearly that the Kingdom includes people who we may see as unworthy or excluded. It teaches us that anyone in need is our neighbour and that we should allow even those we despise to be neighbours to us.

I chose to retell the parable only, without the interaction between Jesus and the lawyer in this sense it loses a little of the contextual setting. At the beginning of this essay I asked some questions that amount to ‘Who is my neighbour?’ and ‘What is a neighbour anyway?’ these questions are similar to those asked by the lawyer in the Luke passage. In the rewrite I have tried to retain the flavour and meaning of the original but set it in a cultural context easily accessible to a modern day audience this is because I believe the original meanings to have relevance and resonance in our communities and lives today.
Both the original and my interpretation begin with ‘A man’ travelling somewhere. I could as easily written ‘a person’ or ‘a woman’ but chose to keep it simple and have ‘man’ stand in as a representative of the human race. In the original the man was travelling from somewhere to somewhere whereas my ‘man’ is travelling through somewhere. The road from Jerusalem to Jericho was renowned for the bandits that roamed out from local villages to supplement meagre incomes with raids on lone travellers (Keesmaat 2000 p278). I set my piece in Radford because that is where I live and because in recent years we have seen several fatal shootings, stabbings and punch-ups. There is a dark underbelly to Radford that occasionally leaks out to touch our everyday lives. In both versions the man is set upon by thieves, who strip him and leave him for dead. Nothing else is said about the ‘man’, his importance is only as a victim and recipient of care.
Next along come the passers-by. In the original they are religious leaders, a priest and a Levite, both of whom would have had serious concerns about being contaminated by spilled blood or possibly even by handling a corpse. Such contamination would make them unable to participate in the temple activities. I chose to interpret this as a priest and an MP, both pillars of the community who gain much from being seen doing and saying the right thing. In a modern context they have no concern about ritual uncleanliness but they do worry about being late or missing important appointments. This is not to say that all priests and MP’s are concerned about these things over and above the needs of a man lying bleeding in a gutter! In the biblical story a Samaritan is next. The Samaritans as has already been discussed were a despised and hated race. Jews and Samaritans did not mix in any social setting and the Samaritans had their own temple separate from the Jews. I chose a black youth dripping in bling, the social stereo-type rap/gangster type person. I could have chosen almost any marginalised and stigmatised social grouping, a Muslim or an alcoholic, or a homeless person or a person with Aids. The list could go on and on. When I was thinking about who to cast as ‘The Good …?’ I became increasingly aware of the number of people society casts as untouchable, undesirable, unlovable. Of course the groupings also depend on ones own point of view, each grouping will have different prejudices to another. Also interesting is those people I didn’t think could fit the role of ‘good’ anything, members of fascist groups for example.
In the original story the Samaritan binds the mans wounds using oil and water, puts him on an animal and books him in at the local Travel Inn, paying for his care and promising remuneration for any further spend. With modern healthcare this would be a strange thing to do so instead, our hero opts for dressing the blood soaked body of the man in his new and expensive coat and calling for an ambulance. The principal remains similar. Neither were unduly worried about contamination of any sort from being hands on in the nitty gritty of life’s horrors. In addition our hero stays with the man on his way to the hospital, buys him some necessities and leaves a contact number should the man require anything else. He returns the next day and continues to offer care and comfort.
I hope that in essence my modern day interpretation of ‘The Good Samaritan’ retains its original meanings and answers the questions of ‘Who is my neighbour?’ and ‘What is a neighbour?’. Who was a neighbour to the man? Not those whom one would expect to fulfil the role but an ‘other’. Someone different, some one marginalised, stereotyped and excluded, someone overlooked by society’s norms, someone – anyone who is prepared to bend down and meet us in our need, and we should do likewise.

References and Bibliography

Drane, John (1999) Introducing The New Testament Oxford, Lion Publishing Plc

Julicher, Adolf (1899) Die gleichnisreden Jesu IN Drane, John (1999) Introducing The New Testament Oxford, Lion Publishing Plc

Keesmaat, Sylvia C (2000) Strange Neighbours and Risky Care. IN Longenecker, Richard N (2000) The Challenge of Jesus’ Parables Wm. b. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

Longenecker, Richard N (2000) The Challenge of Jesus’ Parables Wm. b. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

Snodgrass, Klyne R (2000) From allegorizing to allegorizing: A history of the interpretation of the parables of Jesus IN Longenecker, Richard N (2000) The Challenge of Jesus’ Parables Wm. b. Eerdmans Publishing Co.

Back after long absence!

2005-10-31T10:58:00.000+01:00

Well, it is a very long time since I last posted anything on this blog. So what's been happening in the lives of the family Blog? ....

I have had a very healthy, bouncing baby girl weighing in at over 8lbs. Eleanor is now 5 1/2 months old and is adorable and very chatty!

Peter continues to do well although he has had some struggles. He is currently recovering from a bout of Glandular Fever and has managed to catch a cold on top. As a result he is very tired.
Peter continues to have therapy for his foot and hand. His walking has much improved and he is now attempting to jump and run. Peter is using his left hand more although his thumb still has a tendency to turn in.

It is an interesting experience to see the differences in the physical development of the little ones. Ellie is keen to be sitting up at five months whereas Peter showed little inclination until he was about eight months. With Peter being our first it took longer to cinvince professionals that his slowness was something more than natural variation. I knew there was something wrong but I guess they had me down as an over-anxious first-time mum.

Peter's hemiplegia though mild has become such a part of who he is. He is developing mannerisms associated with his condition that are so endearing. Of course it would be great if he did not have to face the challanges his hemiplegia brings but I can't help thinking I would miss his little ways if he could be cured tomorrow.

Word of the Day

2005-02-25T14:33:00.000+01:00

Word of the Day

I like this blog!

the reach

2005-02-16T09:39:00.000+01:00

the reach

Beautiful Blog. Highly reccommended!

Colds and stuff

2005-02-10T10:37:00.000+01:00

The in-laws left a little present in the form of a head cold. So I was back at work for two days and off for another two days!! I am still sniffing with a few sneezes and an annoying cough. Oh well, it could be much worse.

Peter has got his splint for his left foot/leg and seems to be happy with it. We will wait and see what improvement it makes to his balance and walking.

Panto's and In-laws...

2005-02-07T10:51:00.000+01:00

We have just had a busy weekend helping out with the church panto. Mr Blog was Stage Manager during the event but had been busy building the set and designing and installing the lighting. I ran the lighting desk during the performances.

To aid us in this Mr Blogs parents came to visit and to look after Peter while we were at the shows (1 on Fri, 2 on Sat). It was great to see them and they were extremely helpful with Peter and the housework. We didn't see much of them on Saturday but enjoyed Sunday lunch at a local Beefeater with them.

All in all it was a good if tiring weekend.

Back At Work

2005-02-07T10:50:00.000+01:00

Well, after another couple of weeks off I am finally back at work and feeling much better.

The chest pains are now completely gone and I can breathe again - yippee!

I have got a bit of a cold and baldricka is kicking a lot - sometimes painfully but that's kind of good!

JengaJam.com >> People bugging Google with polar-bear questions

2005-01-18T13:44:00.000+01:00

JengaJam.com >> People bugging Google with polar-bear questions

Ha Ha!

Some people just have too much time on their hands!

Stuff

2005-01-18T11:05:00.000+01:00

Peter is still unwell but a bit better today. He is off to his occupational therapy appointment. He has to be fitted with a splint for his leg to prevent him rolling his foot. This should help with his walking and strengthen his ankle.

Baldricka the bump remains very active. I had a detailed scan last week and everything appeared normal so that is good news. She likes to keep me awake at night kicking away - I think she must have some kind of dance video in there with her!

Hubby is tired having spent a week looking after Peter and worrying about me. He was sick yesterday but still went to work. He will be going into work later today when I finish as peter isn't well enough to go to nursery.

What a Week that Was!

2005-01-17T22:04:00.000+01:00

Last week I started to get a pain in my chest just below my left boob. It got worse so on Monday I went to the doctor who prescribed Gaviscon. It didn't improve so on Tuesday morning I rang the Maternity unit. They told me to come in. After several hours and several tests they admitted me to the ward. More tests followed and the consultant seemed quite worried about my condition.

Eventually they had all but ruled out anything serious - although they couldn't quite rule out pulmonary embolism. I am therefore now on daily injections to thin my blood to sort out any clot. They allowed me home on Thursday afternoon.

On Friday my son was sent home early from nursery due to lethargy and high temperature. He was diagnosed with a throat infection. The high temperature made him vomit - a lot!

He is much better this morning but now my husband is feeling under the weather - hopefully it's just down to lack of sleep!

I am back at work but under instruction to take it easy - no running about. I still have the pain and the shortness of breath but I am ok as long as I don't overdo it.

Isn't life grand!

A friend sent me this....

2005-01-06T11:31:00.000+01:00

......To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect a suitable President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new Prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary, and then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part.

Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise".

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".

Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize".

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game that is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "shit".

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 12th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French; they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer that should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager". The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser Company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation.

The People of Britain

Advent

2004-12-04T21:22:00.000+01:00

Advent is often seen as a time of waiting and preparation. We await the Christmas season and prepare our hearts and minds to receive again the indescribable gift of the incarnation of God as a helpless infant. The Word made flesh dwelling among us. It is a serious and solemn time but also a time of celebration and joy.

In our inner city parish we also wait. We wait for the powers to be to make the decisions that will decide and shape our future. We await the arrival (or not) of a priest to lead us and encourage us, to take us forward and to help bear our burdens. We wait and prepare and struggle along unsure of the outcome not knowing where our waiting will take us.

In Advent the outcome is certain - Christmas morning will come and will we be ready? Will the food and presents be bought. Will the guests be invited? And what of the guest of honour? Will there be room for Him in our celebrations?Whatever is happening in our lives and our churches the most important thing about Advent is finding room for Jesus in our lives, our churches and our celebrations. Jesus will come even if a priest for our church does not.

A place to talk

2004-12-04T21:20:00.000+01:00

A place to talk

This is a blog I am part of - take a look!

Vomit!

2004-11-11T10:22:00.000+01:00

Well I was sick on the way to work this morning....twice!!

The worst thing, apart from actually being sick, was the line of cars going past with people watching me. Ugh!

I don't feel to bad now though so that's good!

American Election.

2004-11-08T12:09:00.000+01:00

So the Americans have done it, they have voted in George W Bush for a second term. Why? Simply because he is against abortion and Gay marriage. What possesses someone to vote a man into office on just these issues. Do they not care about the 1000's he is killing in Iraq, does it not occur to them that his refusal to ratify Kyoto may change global weather and cause chaos and death on a grand scale? Obviously not.

The people that voted for them call themselves Christian and say that W is upholding christian values. No wonder then that Christians all across the globe are preferring to cast off the label 'christian' rather than be associated with these people.

It makes me ashamed that so called Christians can be so narrow minded and singularly focussed as not to see the bigger picture. God must be crying tears of frustration that people who claim to know him could make such a mess of things and say it is in His name and for His sake.

I despair.

It's A Miracle

2004-10-29T15:34:00.000+01:00

I've been ill again - another cold that wiped me out and left me as weak as a kitten. I often wonder why pregnancy can make a person feel so ill and so tired with no immunity to anything. People say 'Oh, you do look well' and I don't really feel I can spoil the moment by replying that they should have seen me ten minutes ago when I had my head stuck down a toilet throwing up my lunch.

So why does it make some women tired. I don't know, all I can really focus on is the end rsult. That wonderful moment when I hold my baby in my arms for the first time and whisper words of welcome and introductions. I wouldn't swap that for anything and yes it is all worth it in the end.

In the meantime I carry on feeling like a sack of shit while the miracle of creation is played out in my tummy. And it is a miracle, only I get to take part in this one! Oh, God does all the hard work - the knitting together and the gift of a soul - but I get to help, if only a little!

Be a Rock Star Manager!

2004-10-19T09:54:00.000+01:00

At the moment I am playing a new game at www.rock-star.me.com - basically it consists of trying to make lots of money managing your own rock star. You can bid on artists, record songs, book gigs and generally manage your artist(s).

It's good fun and only needs to take a few minutes of your time each day and you can make thousands!!

Enjoy!

:):):):) Funny and Interesting Observations (:(:(:(:

2004-10-15T14:36:00.000+01:00

:):):):) Funny and Interesting Observations (:(:(:(:

This is an amusing blog - full of stories and piccies - some a bit rude so don't visit if you are supersensitive!

new kid on the blog

2004-10-15T14:04:00.000+01:00

new kid on the blog

I came across this blog while browsing through profiles. I think it is shaping up to be a good one. I will certainly visit from time to time!

Going Postal .....

2004-10-15T13:16:00.000+01:00

...... is the title of the latest Discworld novel from the pen of Terry Pratchett. I haven't read much of it yet but I can already tell that it is going to be a good one. It is about a con artist forcefully recruited by Lord Vetinari to the postal service.

I'm not sure there is to be a diary this year, if not it is very sad, I have collected all the previous years and mourned it's absence this year.

May You Live in Interesting Times ...

2004-10-15T10:00:00.000+01:00

..... is an old Chinese curse but actually sums up life in the blog family household quite well at the moment. Both Mr Blog and I are busy with various projects and then there are the various events and happenings that living in a city can bring.

At the moment I think we would both quite enjoy a run of quiet, perhaps even dull, days. It would give us a chance to catch up with ourselves and each other.

Tired.......

2004-10-15T09:57:00.000+01:00

I am very tired at the moment and a little fed up with it. My motivation is low and I am not really sleeping very well.

I missed Wednesdays class, I am very disappointed by this. I had got soaked on the way home from work and then I was just so tired I couldn't face going out again.

Life's a bitch .... then you die!

What is Spirituality

2004-10-12T11:37:00.000+01:00

As part of this course I am doing I have to 'talk' to people on the above subject. They can be Christian or not. I have posted on a couple of sites to try and get some responses and I have asked friends and family. If you would like to add to my responses please post a comment.

I am particularly interested since I have to write 2000 words on the responses I get!!

In your comments please include a little biographical data and say if you are a christian or not.

Thanks folks!

Where have you been?

2004-10-11T09:41:00.000+01:00

'Tis a while since I last put pen to paper, figuratively speaking, so maybe you wonder where I have been. Sadly I have only been ill at home and nowhere exotic or even mildly interesting.

Discipleship Course:

I did make it along to this on Wednesday - it was a good evening - more on that later.

Pregnancy News:

This is the reason for my absence. I am very tired and feeling very sick. I have had two hospital visits and a visit to the GP this week. I am now back at work but still feel pretty rough.

Update!

2004-10-01T14:19:00.000+01:00

I haven't written for a couple of days - no real reason other than being busy and tired. This morning we took Blog Jnr to the hospital for his Occupational Therapy Assessment. They seem quite confident that they will be able to do something to improve his fine motor control. I then had an appointment with the diabetes team who will be involved in my antenatal care. I have to start testing my blood for sugar up to seven times a day. Oh deep, deep joy!!

I am feeling very sick most of every day but haven't actually chucked up yet. I am sneezind lots because I can't take my hayfever medication and I am feeling washed out and tired. Some people take to being pregnant really well, sadly I am not one of them!

I started my course on Thursday. All the other students seem very lovely as were the tutors. I feel much more confident having survived the first session. I have two hours of preparation to fit in before the next seesion as well as some reading for the assignment. We didn't really learn much it was more of an introductory session than an input session.

So life continues to be full and hectic but it's Goose Fair next week so that's ok!

What does ScoG mean?

2004-09-28T15:55:00.001+01:00

My cover name for this blog is 'ScoG Blog' and I was thinking it was time to explain what 'ScoG' actually stands for. The 'S' is for the initial of my christian name and the 'coG' stands for 'child of God'. So I am 'S****, child of God. So now you know!!

The Dark Tower by Stephen King

2004-09-28T15:43:00.000+01:00

It's here, it's arrived, I hold it in my hands! The seventh and final book in The Dark Tower series was delivered fresh from www.Amazon.co.uk yesterday. I just looked at it for a little while, not wanting to shorten the anticipation and just letting the excitement build. I started reading it yesterday evening and continued this lunchtime. I have a feeling that I will be spending every stolen moment with Roland and his Ka-tet.

I have enjoyed the story so far and I am looking forward to the culmination of this epic work of fiction.

Announcing......

2004-09-27T09:51:00.000+01:00

The beginnings of baby blog. Yes, Scog Blog is up the duff! I am expecting my second child at the end of April 2005. Mr Blog is very pleased and Blog Jnr is blissfully unaware of the changes he is about to be put through. I do worry about him as he is little more than a baby himself. Great upheavels to come!!

So far the morning sickness is moderate, I'm hoping it stays that way as last time I was sick for the whole of the pregnancy. I have insane backache that gets worse during the day and doesn't completely recover during the night. OW!

More news on developments as they happen!

Christian Discipleship

2004-09-27T09:46:00.000+01:00

This week, on Wednesday, I start a new theology course. It is part-time, one evening a week plus preparation and assignments. The first module is entitled 'Christian Discipleship' and has a 2000 word essay to complete. I am looking forward to this course but I am a little concerned about it being in the evenings as I am still quite tired.

I will post more about the course as it continues..... watch this space!

They Are Our Future

2004-09-24T09:57:00.000+01:00

Every time I read about children being misused I get angry. Children are so vulnerable - they believe pretty much whatever you tell them and they learn from imitating those around them. So what are we teaching our children?

From the news channels and newspapers it would seem that we are teaching them that it is ok to be racist, bigoted, hateful, intolerant and antisocial. Scenes of war and terrorism and violence of every kind from all over the world beamed directly into our living rooms and into our kids heads. From listening to the kids as they play in our street it would seem we are teaching them to swear and curse and not give a flying fig about anyone else or the environment they have to live in. They use words I don't even understand and vandalise the nearby park at every opportunity.

We owe it to the children and to ourselves to teach our kids how to be responsible, respectable citizens. Surely we want to give this nations children every chance to excel in sport or business, social skills and leisure pursuits. And we should remember that one day these kids will be running the country and making decisions about our future.

So let's teach them how to laugh and play, let's teach them about their responsibilities as well as their rights, let's give them a sense of fair play. Let us encourage our kids to be independant but not self centred, aware of their own worth and the value in others, let's make our nations children a legacy and gift to the world.

Where is God?

2004-09-23T13:31:00.000+01:00

This is a question I hear in one form or another whenever something bad happens. 'Where was God in Beslan?', 'Where was God on 9/11?' And then there is that age old variation 'If there was a God/if God cared why does he allow these things to happen?'.

These are big questions and I have to admit I don't have any big answers. Just a deep and abiding conviction that God can be found in the darkest corners of this world through the suffering of Jesus Christ.

I carry with me the child I used to be. The misused and abused child for whom life promised so little. She use to ask 'where is God in this' until one day God showed her. He was with her, hanging on his cross, blood and sweat running down his face.

God is with us in the bleak times, in the spark of humanity that kicks against the darkness. God is with us.

Bill Gates

2004-09-23T10:32:00.000+01:00

11 Rules of Life by Bill Gates

I found the following on another blog. Apparently it comes from a speech he made to high school kids about how political correctness has made them unprepared to face the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it.

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself

Rule 3: You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping - they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades, and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

www.reallivepreacher.com

2004-09-20T10:43:00.000+01:00

The real live preacher is having a rough time at the moment. He has written a book that is about to be published and he is somewhat jittery about it.

The real live preacher, I think I've mentioned this before, is a baptist Minister in the States. He has quite a substantial blog that covers a range of subjects. His writing style is beautifully sensitive and very rich. This guy has a big heart and is very genuine. His blog posts have made me smile and laugh out loud. They have also made me cry and thump the desk in anger. His writing comes from the heart and is never self-seeking.

Drop in on him from time to time - I'm sure he'll be delighted to 'see' you!

www.reallivepreacher.com

The children of Lesotho

2004-09-20T10:23:00.000+01:00

I thought I had heard and seen the worst that could be done to a child. I thought that humanitys' capacity to inflict hurt on a child could only go so far. I was wrong, I was so wrong.

I watched the Prince Harry documentary of his time in Lesotho last night and was horrified and shaken to the core of my soul. Harry tenderly cradled a ten month old little girl who had been raped by at least two men. Yes, raped. This child had been so brutally violated that her womb was so badly damaged it had to be removed. This child had not uttered a sound for months afterwards and was only now beginning to smile at her main carer. This child, this baby, had eyes that were painful to look into. She carries the truth of her violation in her eyes.

The medicine men of Lesotho tell men with aids that they can be cured if they have sex with a young girl - the younger the better. What mindset do you have to have to hurt a child so badly in order to save yourself? It is tempting to call these men animals or monsters but the saddest thing is that they are human. These are men so desperate that they will commit these acts to 'cure' themselves of a deadly disease. The tragedy for them, the little girs they rape and all of humanity is that it is a lie, an untruth. And even if it were true could the rape of babies ever be justified. I think not.

Pray for the Children of Lesotho, pray, act, give and don't ever forget.

The students return

2004-09-20T09:41:00.000+01:00

Well, it's that time of year again - the students are returning in dribs and drabs - the flood will start next week. Our lives will be filled with paper jams and queries about where the toilets are and fixing printing problems which are most often caused by user error!

By the end of next week we will already be tired of asking students to stop using their phones in the library and telling them the can't eat/drink that in here. This is the life of a user support person in a university library!

Welcome Students!!!